Embracing your role as a Wife

I heard about a woman who was in a very chatty mood one day. She wasn’t talking about ordinary things, though—she was talking about her husband.

She described him as lazy and sloppy and said she felt like she was carrying most of the load in their home. She was tired of it and made it clear she wasn’t willing to keep putting up with it. Then she began comparing her life to others, mentioning how her friends were enjoying exotic vacations while all they could afford was a simple trip to a nearby beach.

By the end of it, it was clear she wasn’t just frustrated—she was weighed down by disappointment and comparison.

Unfortunately, this scenario is all too common. Women are excited about getting married and starting a family, but many TV soap operas or liberal commentaries later, they are disappointed and feeling betrayed.

And many of these women begin the process of destroying their marriages.

God has better for you, and He provides terrific advice as only He can do.

First of all, your husband is a human being, and as such, has faults. He wasn’t perfect when you married him, and he isn’t now. (News flash: neither are you or anyone else).

Yet along with his faults he has good points, and he is a work in progress.

So what do you do? You turn to scripture, and find out what God says about it.

A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her, and lacks nothing of value. (Proverbs 31:10-11 NIV)

That’s a mouthful, isn’t it? Read these verses all the way to 31.

This husband is known in the gates, the place of authority. And he praises her abundantly.

Then there is the other kind of wife. Uh-oh!

A quarrelsome wife is like a steady dripping on a rainy day. (Proverbs 27:15 NIV)

Better to live on the corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (Proverbs 21:9 NIV)

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. (Proverbs 21:19 NIV)

Ooh…this is stinging, isn’t it?

The secret is this. One of the major roles of a wife (or husband) is to pray for their spouse.

When shortcomings are evident, the first thing you do is pray.

You ask God to show you the scriptures which apply to your husband. You ask for insight into how to pray.

You pray that God will open his eyes to know Him more. You pray that God will strengthen your husband through His spirit so that He can be the man of God he’s called to be. (Ephesians 3:16)

Then you love him – unconditionally. You try to meet his needs, and you show him kindness and gentleness.

Your marriage is alike a three stranded cord (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

The closer you both grow to Jesus, the closer you grow to each other. It’s a process.

Then you start making a list in your mind – maybe even a written list – of your husband’s good points.

Is he faithful? Does he love your children? Is he kind when he speaks to you?

Think about it and you’ll find good attributes and begin to focus on them.

When you concentrate on his good points, start complimenting him on these. Watch him as you show your appreciation. He will love you for your kindness.

That’s when amazing things happen. Your prayers and your positive attitude will take you to a new level. You will find yourself falling in love with your husband again.

You are a team – and you are living this life together side by side.

Do him good and not evil all the days of his life, and you will see remarkable things happen!